Ed the Jockey!
by kittenwings
Summary: In some unexplainable, unreasonable weird way Ed becomes a Jockey what madness would this lead Ed into? oneshot


Kittenwings: hi! I know I should be writing the Riza haweye chapter to know your stars but I having trouble writing it if any of you have any good Ideas please tell me I love to hear them! If you don't know what I am talking about please go and read know your stars story! Now there are 2 versions to this there's the funny version and the original version

Now first I'm going to show you the original so you know what happens!

Story: Ed the Jockey!

Original version

Edward, Alphonse and Winry where all looking around for something to do for Ed for passing his exam. Then after Ed told them how he passed Winry saw a poster for Centrals 24th annual horse race

Winry: Ed would you take me to the annual horse race?

Ed: why would I want to go to see a stupid race to see some stupid horses?

Winry: pulls out wrench this is why!

Ed: OK OK! Will go to the races just don't hurt me!

Al: yay we get to see the 24th annual horse race winry and Al high five

When they get there they hear a the commentator telling you to make bets at the betting booth

Ed: oh no you are not going to make bets with my money!

Winry: I'm not here to make bets I came here to look at all the cute horses!

Ed: I thought you only liked automail stuff?

Winry: I do but now I like horses!

Al: oh but I like things like that does sad face

Ed: Then I bet your favorite thing would be a horse with an automail

Winry: What where?

Ed: Come on lets get some seats before there all taken!

Jockeys couch: damn it that was my last jockey to get hurt in practice! looks in crowd for short guy

Jockey couch: Hey you!

Ed: Who me?

Jockey couch: Yeah you I'm looking for someone short to be my Jockey

Ed: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT I'M NOT SHORT!

Jockey couch: I'll pay you money

Ed: I'm there!

Jockey couch: Now all you got to do is WIN WIN WIN!

Ed: Tell me something I don't know

The Jockey couch takes Ed to stables where the horse that Ed will be riding in the races

Jockey couch: Now this is the horse that you will be riding shows the horse to Ed

Ed: stares cool!

Jockey couch: now you got to give this horse a racing name….

Winry: pops out of know where Automail on a roll!

Jockey couch has a heart attack

Ed: you really got to stop that

Winry: oh sorry

Commentator: Ok all jockeys please get on your horse and get ready for the race!

All the jockeys got on then horses and headed down to the starting mark also did Ed. All the horses and jockeys line up on the mark getting ready to hear the gun fire

Suddenly the jockey couch recovered…

Jockey couch: did I miss anything

Winry: no... there just about to begin

Commentator: On your marks… get set…. GO!

All the horses jump out of the starting mark and are racing down the field

Winry: Come on automail on a roll!

Al: Go Ed!

Commentator: And eat my shorts is in the lead followed by don't have a cow man and close behind is automail on a roll

Al: Come on Ed!

Winry: Look he beating don't have a cow man! Quite a ironic name isn't it

Al: And now he's almost past eat my shorts!

Winry: but you're not wearing shorts!

Automail and eat my shorts are head to head… there were almost at the finish line…….. and……

Commentator: And automail on a roll has won it!

The crowd was going wild as Ed punch his fist into the air

Commentator: what an amazing win for the little guy!

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT I CAN BE STOMP ON BY AN ANT!

Commentator: anyway…. Here is you money hands it to the jockey couch

Ed: Now where's my money?

Jockey couch: Here you gogives Ed the money

Ed: What! Only 100 bucks!

Jockey couch: Well that's all people betted for! Plus I got halve of it!

Winry: Oh well at least you can get me that screwdriver I wanted!

Well Ed only got $100 Winry got $40 for the screwdriver Al got $40 for a new kitten and Ed got a mega ice-cream for $20

After that he had a huge brain freeze! lol

Now for the funny version! It's pretty much the same except there are more funny parts!

The funnier version of Ed the jockey!

Edward, Alphonse and Winry where all looking around for something to do for Ed for passing his exam. Then after Ed told them how he passed Winry saw a poster for Centrals 24th annual horse race

Winry: Ed would you take me to the annual horse race?

Ed: why would I want to go to see a stupid race to see some stupid horses?

Winry: pulls out wrench this is why!

Ed: OK OK! Will go to the races just don't hurt me!

Al: yay we get to see the 24th annual horse race Winry and Al high five

When they get there they hear a the commentator telling you to make bets at the betting booth

Ed: oh no you are not going to make bets with my money!

Winry: I'm not here to make bets I came here to look at all the cute horses!

Ed: I thought you only liked automail stuff?

Winry: I do but now I like horses!

Al: oh but I like things like that does sad face

Ed: Then I bet your favorite thing would be a horse with an automail

Winry: What where?

Ed: Come on let's get some seats before there all taken!

As Ed Al and Winry were taking there seats there bump into…..

Roy and Maes Hughes

Ed: hey! What are you the hell are you doing here!

Roy: you know I got a social life you know….

Ed: yea… that chasing after women with miniskirts…

Roy: what you say shows Ed that he has his gloves with him

Ed: nothing…

Roy: Ed, Al and….

Winry: It's Winry

Maes: Ed I heard you passed your test

Ed: yep I'm an official State alchemist now!

Maes: Uh huh… then why are your pants backwards?

Ed: Oh not again!runs to bathroom to change

Winry: Does he always do that Al?

Al: Yeah that's the third time this week

all laugh

Ed: Hey guys what's so funny?

(All) ummm…nothing

Jockey couch: Damn that was my last jockey to get hurt in practice! looks in crowd

Jockey couch: Hey you!

Roy: Who me?

Jockey couch: Yeah you! Get your hand off my wife's leg you pervert!

Roy:pulls out glove then burns Jockey couch don't you dare call me a pervert!

Jockey couch: OUCH! That really hurt!

The end

Kittenwings – hi! Thank you sooo much for reading this I really did appetite it! Ok please review I love to hear from you and I also love feed back so ya REVIEW!


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